pure

Pure Season 1 Episode 9

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Confessions from the girl who shouldn’t have worn that…

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My body is a temple. But most days I’m told it’s a stumbling block.

When I was a pre-teen I remember going to the store and falling in love with a pair of pants. I grabbed my size and ran to the dressing room. But… there was a problem. I could not get the pants over my rear end.

Devastated I ran to my mom who sat me down and told me — my body would always be different than some of the girls at school.  That Clothes aren’t made for me. I have to take extra care to cover up.

After that clothing became a battle. I could never find pants that fit me. Skirts no matter how long ride up my thighs. Shirts no matter how appropriate on others always needed a tank top underneath for me. My curves were something to be hidden.

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I remember the day my body became sinful.

a church member— a man close to my father’s age— approached me once. Can you tell your friend to not wear that dress anymore? It’s distracting.

 

That was around the time I was told not to wear pants to church because it accentuated my bottom. It was also around the time I wore the baggiest sweatpants and mismatched shirts to school hoping these two guys in particular would stop trying to smack my butt when I walked by or stare at my chest on the bumpy school bus. It’s also around the time men in cars would slow down to almost a complete stop as my friend and I walked home from school.

I never told my teachers or parents. I thought it was my fault.

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Church.

Confession -- sometimes when I stand up too fast for opening hymn or prayer I’m more worried if my dress stayed positioned in the right places than I am about concentrating on God. It’s funny how an outfit can seem to fit right at home and suddenly exposing in public-- a walk across the sanctuary feels like the walk of shame. Somehow I’m made in God’s image but immodest. I’m beautiful but a distraction.

See in church...We are taught to avoid the male gaze while also taught our value is tied to marrying one

 

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